


Untrue Love

by writingforanothertime



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Break Up, Cheating, Feelings, Gay Newsies, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Mention of drinking, Post-Break Up, Spromeo - Freeform, albert is sad, caps tw, hurting, i think, race and romeo are very good friends tho, race is not doing well, race makes bad choices, ralbert, spromeo put up with a lot, yelling tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29112924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingforanothertime/pseuds/writingforanothertime
Summary: it’s mostly angst, i was not doing well when i wrote iti am better now but it’s still funralbert has a bad relationship sorry
Relationships: Albert DaSilva & Racetrack Higgins, Albert DaSilva/Racetrack Higgins, Romeo/Specs (Newsies), Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Kudos: 13





	1. truth

Race was practically vibrating with energy when he got back to the apartment after dance. He dropped his bag on the floor, kicked off his shoes and went over to Albert to kiss him hello. Albert hardly looked up from his phone as Race did so, causing the blonde to frown. 

Race decided to not think about it and tried to settle himself on his boyfriends chest. After several attempts that ended in failure, Albert wasn’t moving to make them both comfortable, he huffed and sat up.

“Albert why don’t you wanna cuddle?” 

Albert shrugged.

“Please? I missed you,” Race tried to lean against him again but this time he was pushed off. 

Race scowled, “fine.” 

He figured Albert was just in a bad mood, in a couple hours or by tomorrow all would be well again. 

But tomorrow all was not well. Albert was still giving him the cold shoulder. Still giving short answers and not wanting to give or receive physical contact from Race. This did send Race down a spiral. Negative thoughts clogged his head. And it hurt even more when Jojo came over and Albert immediately smiled and hugged him. 

Their group decided to meet up at Jacobi’s that evening. Everyone was there and the deli was loud. Race watched Albert talk, laugh, and joke with the other guys but he stayed silent. He didn’t even notice he’d been digging his nails into the side of his forearm until Elmer, who was sitting beside him, reached over and pulled his hand away. 

“Race what’s up? You haven’t said anything all night. Are you down again?” It was common knowledge among them that Race had depressive swings. When he had a low everybody tried to take care of him. 

“Albert’s been ignoring me since yesterday evening,” was the reply. 

“Hmm, that doesn’t sound like him. He usually has such quick opinions and remarks.”

“I know.”

“You haven’t talked to him?”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Be upfront about it, nothing wrong with that.” 

“Yeah... maybe.”

But there was no talking between the couple that night. And when Race woke up in the middle of the night he discovered the other side of the bed empty. He tiptoed out of the bedroom, hoping Al was just in the bathroom or something. But no. He was asleep on the couch. 

Race went back to bed and cried softly into his pillow. 

The next morning passed with Race stuck in his head, trying to figure out why Albert would act so distant, and trying to work up the nerve to ask him about it. 

Finally, while they were sitting on opposite ends of the couch, not really watching Avengers: Age of Ultron, Race brought it up. 

“Hey Albie,” the pet name came naturally, he so badly wanted to be on Albert’s good side. 

“Hm?” Albert made a sound in response.

Race tucked his hands underneath him, trying to stop their shaking. “Why are you acting so distant?”

“I’m not.”

Race was taken aback, his boyfriend just lied directly to his face. 

“Bu-but you are. Did I do something? Albert please.”

“Oh like you don’t know,” the redhead scoffed. 

“What?” 

Albert glanced up from the TV which he had only been pretend watching. “How about you tell me who you prefer; me or the short, dark haired dude I saw you getting cozy with?” He turned his attention back to the screen.

Race paled as he remembered. Of course Albert had found out. It’s not that Race meant to cheat. He was totally in love with Albert. It was just hard to pass up the opportunity to make out with hot guys. 

He started babbling, “Albie I didn’t mean to. I, I had some drinks I was thinking! It was an accident. Honest. You know I love you. I love you Albie.”

“Tony you came home from the party sober.”

“It was a mistake,” he cried desperately. 

“Get out.” 

“What?” 

“Get out. I don’t want to see you.”

“A- are you breaking up with me?”

“Get. Out.”

Tearfully Race got up off the couch and walked out the door. He stayed outside the door for a couple minutes. He hoped Albert would tell him to come back. And he didn’t know where to go. He started walking. It was such a nice day. How could it be so nice when he felt ripped in two? 

He sniffed and wiped at his eyes as he went. Hoping that New York would keep being New York and no one would pay any attention to him. He made it to some sort of park and collapsed on a bench still trying to keep it together. But he was unable to sit still so after some time he got up and continued walking. 

Several hours went by. Surely that was enough to let Albert cool down. Race decided to make his way back to the apartment and let himself in. 

He found Albert standing at the stove, making macaroni and cheese. His boyfriend turned around when he heard the door open. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I didn’t know I was supposed to leave forever,” Race replied slowly. 

“This is my apartment, if I had invited you here you would be welcome. But I did not. So you are not. Welcome.” The red head brushed past him to set a plate on the table. One plate. For Albert. 

Race wasn’t sure what to do but now he felt angry, “really? I’ve lived here since WE moved in but it’s not mine?”

“I suggested it. I pay the rent.”

“I’m your boyfriend Albert! We own things, we do things together!” 

“Are you really my boyfriend?”

Race’s heart stopped. 

“What?” The word came out soft and weak.

“I can’t keep doing this Race! It keeps happening! This is what, the fourth time now!”

“Of what?” He asked softly.

Albert spun around, snapping the towel he’d been holding in frustration.

“I let you go to a party, by yourself because I don’t want to go, and every time you hook up with another guy. You’re in a relationship Race! You don’t get to kiss other people!”

“It was a mistake...”

Albert rolled his eyes, “I know you keep saying that. But a mistake happens once and then you try to correct it. This has happened four times now!”

“But not everytime,” Race said meekly. 

“Oh is that what you’re going for? That I should stay in a relationship with you because you only sometimes cheat on me? No that’s not the way it works. I’m done being your boyfriend Anthony, get your things and leave.” 

“But Albie-“

“Race!” Albert shouted, “Stop it! I don’t want to see you right now!” 

Race was shaking, from anxiety, from anger, from sadness, who knows. He couldn’t think about actually getting moving out. He disappeared into the bedroom for a couple minutes than came out with a packed backpack. 

“Guess I’ll leave then,” Race said quietly. 

There was no response from Albert, so Race walked out the door.


	2. i hurt race more

For two long days Race crashed at Romeo’s place. Not seeing Albert for two full days was something he hadn’t done since... he couldn’t remember. The first day was full of tears, Romeo only stayed to comfort him for so long until he was tired of Race complaining and left to spend the day with Specs. From what Romeo had understood from Race, Albert had broken up with him because Race had been seen with another guy at a party. Romeo knew both of them well enough to know that was not the full truth but he wasn’t going to call Racetrack out on that while he was so upset. He sat with him for as long as he could bear but Race was just babbling the same things over and over again. 

The second day was silent. Race stared at the tv, eyes glazed over, not giving any notice to anything. It took Romeo three tries to get his friend’s attention. 

“Hey Racer?”  
Silence. 

“Race!”  
More silence.

“Racetrack!” He shouted.

Race startled and shook his head, it took him a couple moments to collect his thoughts and find his voice. “Yeah hi.”

“I was going to order something and want to know what you want.”

“What are you getting?”

“Chinese food.”

“Doesn’t really matter, as long as there’s noodles.”

“Alright, oh, and Specs is coming over.”

“‘Kay.” 

Race turned back to the tv that he wasn’t watching and Romeo watched as he seemed to freeze in place. This was unnerving. So out of character. The Race he knew never stopped moving and had a lot of expression. Whoever he was sitting on Romeo’s couch, mute and neutral, he didn’t know him. 

When Specs came over he took one look at Race and then immediately whispered urgently to Romeo.

“Has he eaten or anything?”

“He hasn’t left the couch since he got here, well, maybe to use the bathroom. I’ve brought him some things though.” 

“He needs to eat and get over it.”

“That’s all you have to say?”

“Yeah Albert wouldn’t dump him for no good reason, hell, he’s probably not doing well either. Maybe I should check in on him.” 

Specs tried to talk to Race but he wouldn’t say anything. He ate half of noodles, then just held the box of them in his lap like he didn’t know what to do with them.  
A little while later, Specs stood up, “I’m gonna go now,” Specs looked at Romeo, the understanding between them that he was going to see Albert. 

“Bye Specs thanks for having dinner with us, love you baby.”

“I love you Romeo,” he kissed him, “bye Race.”

The blonde did not respond. 

“Hey Racer, you should get some sleep, you look exhausted.”

Race stared at the floor in front of him.  
Gently Romeo plucked his box of noodles from his hand and cleaned up the other cartons. Then he came back to the couch wrapped his arms around Race carefully. 

“This ok?” He said softly. He felt Race exhale, then Race’s head dropped to lean against his. They both ended up falling asleep on the couch. Sort of cuddling but not really. Race needed physical affection and he hadn’t really been touched in two days. Having Romeo hug him was very comforting.  
By the third day Race couldn’t handle it anymore. He needed to see Albert. Maybe he had changed his mind and didn’t know how to tell Race. 

Around noon, after Romeo had left to go to class Race changed into fresh clothes and slipped out the door. His, no, Albert’s place wasn’t very far from Romeo’s. 

He knocked and held his breath. It felt strange to not walk right in. Albert opened the door, his expression expectant then dropped to unimpressed as he realized who it was. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Uh, can I come in?”

“I don’t really want you to.”

“Albie please.”

“Stop calling me that,” the redhead snapped and started to close the door. 

“Fine! But can I come in?”

“Whatever.” He stepped away from the door going to toward the living room allowing Race to follow him inside. 

“Well?” Albert turned around, arms crossed.

“Uh, I- I’m sorry. I know I’ve done a lot of things that weren’t right. And I shouldn’t have done them. But I never meant to hurt you. I won’t do it again.”

“No. You won’t,” Albert started to leave.

“Ok?”

Albert turned back around, there was so much obvious disgust. Race felt confused. He’d just apologized. But it didn’t seem like Albert quite accepted it. 

“You’re dismissed,” Albert said sarcastically. 

“Wha- Al, I just apologized.”

“I know, and now I want you to leave.”

“What are we?”

“What?”

“Are we broken up?”

“Race I can’t be your boyfriend if this is how you treat me. I can’t keep dealing with this.”

“Albert I need you, please don’t do this,” Race pleaded. He was suddenly faced, for the first time in his life, with the idea that Albert wouldn’t continue to be in his life. Sure they’d had their fights as kids and hard ships as a couple but they were always ok. Why was this time any different? 

“Anthony,” Albert spoke quietly but clearly, “I’m not your boyfriend and I don’t want you around right now.”  
Race wondered if it had hurt him to say that. It sure hurt to receive it. This sudden consequence was very overwhelming and Race started crying. Hard. 

“No. No no! Albie please, I don’t want us to be done.”

“This isn’t up for debate!”

“I need you Albert I ca- I can’t do this without you.” 

“You’ll be fine, there’s lots of tiger guys you seem to want.”

“I see your face everywhere!” Race scream cried. He was hysterical. But he suddenly went quiet, “don’t you get it?” He said tearfully. 

Albert took a deep breath, glancing at the ceiling for a second trying to keep his cool. 

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” he replied quietly. 

Race’s head fell forwards landing against Albert’s chest. He wrapped his hands in Al’s shirt sobbing. 

“Racer please,” the old nickname fell easily from his lips as he tried to step away. 

“Take me back!” Race raised his head holding the shirt even tighter in his fists, “Albie please I’ll do anything! I need you.”

“You don’t need me Anthony you made that very clear.” 

“No. No! Please, no, stop! Albie!” Race cried hard. He wasn’t even sure what he was saying. 

“I can’t keep doing this,” Albert shoved Race off of him and left the boy crying in the middle of his apartment.  
Race shook violently as the door slammed shut. Slowly he crumpled to the floor tugging at his shirt collar. His body didn’t know what you do. He pulled hard on his neck needing the tension to go away. 

He cried long enough to tire himself out and fall asleep. 

He woke up slowly, his body still feeling exhausted. His vision was blurry when he opened his eyes. Slowly he turned his head to look at the walls he knew so well. The walls that didn’t belong to him anymore. Race had been left in Albert’s apartment. It was dark so Albert must have found somewhere else to stay the night. The thought hit him hard, he was single. Albert wasn’t going to be around anymore. How could he love like that. He knew he still had Romeo, Specs, Elmer, all the other guys. But Albert had been the most important person in his life for as long as he could remember. And he still was. But Race knew Albert would try to avoid him at all costs. Race felt so alone.


	3. specs checks in but it gets messier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a scene that takes place during chapter 2 but it didn’t quite seem to fit in so i separated them

Albert heard a knock on the door. He groaned, he had just laid down in his bed and was planning to mindlessly play flappy bird or something but now someone was disrupting him. He got up slowly, thoughts forming about Race. He half-hoped it was him but he also did not want to deal with him. He swung open the door expecting the worst, but oh, there was Specs. 

“Hey man what’s up?”

Specs stepped inside almost cautiously.

“Hi, well that dumb blonde is at my boyfriends place and I wanted to see you.”

Albert rolled his eyes, “yeah what’s he saying?” 

“That you broke up with him.”

“Well I’m not sure if I said those exact words but that’s how I feel.”

“Can I sit down?” Specs asked, Albert nodded and they both sat down on the couch.

“Why’d you break up with him?”

“Do we really have to do this right now?”

“What?”

“Are you gonna analyze my life? Why can’t I just be broken up with Race, why is this a big deal? Stay outta my life,” Albert grumbled standing up.

“Whoa hey, that’s not what I was going to do, I was just curious and uh, Race is a MESS.”

“He’s dramatic,” but Albert sat down again.

“So? Do I get the truth?”

He sighed, “sure, I found out Race had cheated on me, again.”

“That’s seems valid, that’s a crappy thing for him to do.”

Albert rubbed the bridge of his nose, “you don’t say.”

“That’s all?”

“I’m not really cool with him sticking his tongue in another dude’s mouth yeah “that’s all”.” The sarcasm in his tone was thick. Albert dropped his head into his hands, “but somehow I miss him.” His tone became very soft and weak and non-Alberty. 

“This place is so quiet without him, I actually get things done which I didn’t think I would ever hate, but I do. And he’s really sweet, he’s loving, just not loyal.”

“But does the good outweigh the bad?”

Albert glanced up, “I don’t think so. I don’t want to keep getting hurt like this, I can’t afford to. I can’t keep putting more trust in him that he won’t break my heart again.” His voice cracked and dropped his head again. 

Specs put his hand on his friend’s shoulder and just left it there. It was a tough situation, almost ridiculous, but tough. 

“For the record, I think you did the right thing, helping yourself can be the most beneficial thing.”

Albert nodded and but didn’t lift his head. He was trying to ignore the tears running down his face and the fact that a part of him did feel bad for Race. 

“I’m going to go now, I just wanted to see if you were ok.”

“Clearly I’m great,” he said in a watery voice. 

“Don’t second guess yourself, you did the right thing, I’ll check in with you tomorrow yeah?” 

“Sure.”

“Bye.”

Albert didn’t reply. He had so much on his mind. He knew Specs probably hadn’t meant to bring his emotions to the surface but it was bound to happen anyway. He had just lost Race. No, not lost, he had pushed him away and shut him out. How could he have done that. He reached for his phone and started tapping in Race’s number. But he turned it off and tossed his phone onto the floor. He had done the right thing. But he was still broken.


	4. and then they were roommates

Race didn’t get off the floor right away. His thoughts were muddled and he wasn’t sure about what he should do for awhile. He zoned out staring at the floor in front of him. When he zoned back in he finally stood up. He didn’t know what to do, it was about 8 o’clock. Did he stay here for the night or did he go back to Romeo’s? His stuff was still here. But Albert had been clear that he didn’t want him around. But Albert had left him here rather than forcing him out. Race dragged himself to the bedroom. He kept opening and closing drawers, he meant to grab some clothes but he kept forgetting that’s what he was doing. Eventually he sat back on his heels, dissociating again. By 9 he felt slightly better. He had found a grocery bag to put some clothes in and threw on his jacket. He walked to Romeo’s place only stopping twice to collect his thoughts and focus on where he was going. 

When he got there, he knocked, just in case. Romeo opened the door, “hey Race.”

“Hey,” he went in before collapsing on the couch. 

“Why’d you go over there?”

Race looked up, startled, Romeo’s tone was almost angry?

“I thought maybe he would reconsider,” he mumbled. 

“No, you’ll never ever get him back now Race. You broke whatever thread you two were still attached to.”

“I- what?” He sat up now, totally confused. 

“Look, I know how badly you miss Albert and how much you will continue to miss him. But you did some seriously wrong things. And I don’t know if there was a chance of you guys getting back together but now there is zero.”

“Has, has he talked to you?”

“No, um, but I have found out some info and I think you need someone to tell you what to do.”

“Romeo, if you’re going to parent me I’ll just go, I’m an adult I can make my own choices.”

“But you’re not making good ones! You know what, you’re right, forget I said anything. Continue ruining things for yourself.” Romeo turned sharply and marched off. 

Great, now two people hated him. He grabbed a blanket and curled up trying to keep the tears inside. It didn’t work, so he tried to cry as quietly as possible. Maybe all he needed was to sleep everything off. Tomorrow was a new day. 

When Race woke up in the morning he smelled pancakes. He sat up immediately. 

“Ro?” He called out in a scratchy voice. 

“Heya Racer, ‘morning.”

“‘Morning.” Race got up, going into the kitchen to see a plate of pancakes sitting on the table. 

“Those for me?” He asked, pointing. 

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.”

“Race I’m really sorry that I yelled at you last night.”  
The blonde shrugged, “maybe I deserved it.”

“I could’ve, I should’ve said anything else. As your friend I should be there for you, and I wasn’t, and almost messed us up too. I’m sorry.”

Race smiled for the first time in days, “thanks Romeo, that means a lot. I don’t want to lose you either. Are the homemade pancakes part of the apology?”

“Well they’re actually from a box mix, but yeah.”

“Thanks,” he sat down and started eating. 

After their meal they discussed the near future. 

“So what now? I’m kicked out of there. Do you want me living with you? I can try and find somewhere else.”

“No of course you can stay here, I just don’t know if you want to sleep on the couch for the next while.” 

Race grinned and raised his eyebrows, “we could get bunk beds.”

Romeo burst out laughing but stopped, considering. “Honestly, I’m down for that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah why not? I’ve never had bunk beds before.”

“Me neither.”

Romeo shrugged, “let’s do it.” 

“Ikea?”

“Ikea it is.”

The boys managed to buy bunk beds but the set up was for another day. They reeled in Specs, Henry, and Jojo to help them assemble the beds. It may have been too much help. With the little arguments breaking out, none of them knowing how to put things together, and Ikea’s impossible instructions it took the majority of one day to finally get the bunk beds complete. 

The next day was spent going to random stores to get Race bedding and a mattress. Romeo already had those (obviously) so he only tagged along to give his two cents. He was also working on selling his old bed which happened pretty quickly, luckily for him. By the evening they finally had their bunk beds. It was a happy night. And Race didn’t want to think about the next day so he focused on the joy of having bunk beds with his best friend. 

In the morning it felt like there was a weight on his shoulders. He was gloomy as he washed his face and brushed his teeth. He got cereal and hardly replied to Romeo when he entered the kitchen. 

“Whoa what’s got you so down?”

“You know what today is?”

“I just woke up, help me out.”

Race slid a bowl across the counter to Romeo along with the cereal box. “I have to go back home- I mean, uh, Albert’s place. Most of my stuff is still there, do you have boxes or anything?”

“I have a couple of Rubbermaid bins yeah, have you texted Albert?”

“...no. Should I?”

“Well you should let him know you’re coming over?”

“Right.” He sat down to eat his cereal, texting as he ate.   
Race: I need to move out  
No, he deleted the text  
Is it ok if I swing by  
No that’s weird  
I’m coming over to collect my stuff  
That didn’t seem right either  
is it ok if i come get my things  
Yeah that worked

Albert: that’s fine, let yourself in

Race let out a breath. That was a civil reply, so far so good. But he was overthinking, should he ask what time? Was it weird if he asked? He needed to know. He sent another text before he could change his mind. 

Race: what time  
Albert: whenever

He wondered if Albert would be home but that seemed completely ridiculous to ask. He changed into jeans and a hoodie, got the bins with Romeo, and they headed out.   
Race checked the door at the apartment, it was locked. He took out his key, twisting open the door. He stepped in, he wasn’t sure what to expect, but the emotions that suddenly flooded him caught him off guard. Albert wasn’t there, he should’ve known he wouldn’t be, yet it still hurt somehow. He sniffed involuntarily and felt Romeo squeeze his shoulder. He quickly wiped his nose with the back of his hand then headed in the direction of his, no, Albert’s bedroom. 

Romeo started dumping drawers out into bins while Race went through the closet. He cringed at the black hoodie that hung on his side of the closet. It wasn’t his, but Albert had told him he wore it better. Race wasn’t sure if it would look weird to leave it there so he tossed it into a bin. He took all his little knick knacks and personal belongings off the shelf, off the dresser, off his nightstand. He glanced around the room running down the mental checklist in his brain. Dresser, nightstand, closet, under the bed, bathroom. He’d gone through everything. He decided to leave everything else, he wouldn’t take his throw pillow off the couch and he was only taking his very favourite mug from the cabinet despite having five others that were his. Packing up took a surprisingly short amount of time so Race and Romeo were lugging his things back in no time. 

They didn’t unpack that day- Race had just looked at his entire life, so much of it was related to Albert. He was emotionally drained and didn’t feel like moving from his position on the couch. He watched movies for the rest of the day, occasionally eating the popcorn Romeo had given him.


	5. thank god for darcy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for posting this on Valentine’s Day

Albert, at first, was fine. The quiet was ok though it felt suffocating at times. He still functioned, still hung out with his friends. He saw Tommy Boy and Jojo the most. And he would see Specs but Romeo tended to stay away from him. It was awkward. Romeo and Race being close and Specs and Albert being close. He wondered how often the couple talked about him and Race. 

About a week later it hit him. Race wasn’t his boyfriend. No more kisses when Race came home from a lesson. No smiles across the diner when someone said something stupid. No getting excited for random days with no importance other than that Race was excited. Thoughts and memories flooded his mind and he was crying before he had time to realize he was sad. He looked at photos of the two of them, blurry through his tears. They had so many good times together. Their relationship had been built over the course of their entire lives. And now it was gone. But Race had hurt him, so many times. His mind wandered back to the first time it had happened. 

Jack had dropped off a very drunk and very giggly Race, Albert had just secured his boyfriend around the waist, before he could fall, when Jack leaned in awkwardly and muttered “I saw him kissing someone there.” Albert’s heart had dropped and with it, he almost dropped Racetrack. 

“Uh ok.”

He shut the door as quickly as possible and deposited Race on the bed. He was still smiling, mumbling something with slurred speech. Albert started towards the bathroom but he was stopped by a “hey Albie?”

“Yeah Tony?”

“Where ya goin’?”

“To the bathroom,” honestly he was just going there to shower so he didn’t have to face Race at this exact moment. 

“Come cuddle pleeeease?” Race pleaded.

“Sure.”

He got into bed next to him and Race snuggled into his chest. 

“You’re so nice an’ warrrm,” Race cooed. 

“And you’re extra loving right now.”

“I’m always loving,” he scowled and Albert was annoyed with how adorable he looked. 

The redhead brushed his fingers through his boyfriend’s curls. 

“You’re so cute.”

“I love you Albie.”

“I love you too Racer.” And he was forgiven pretty much on the spot. Albert brought it up briefly in the morning and they had both agreed that it was a mistake, an accident and Race would never do that again. 

The second time was the angriest Albert had ever felt, and the angriest Race had ever seen him. Albert had screamed at Race before he really thought about it. He was so hurt, Race had PROMISED it wouldn’t happen again yet it had. Albert had seen the fear flash through Race’s eyes, causing him to feel bad. He’d stopped shouting and walked out. He came back to Race crying in the bedroom. He hadn’t totally cooled off yet, and it took him about a week to get over it. Even then it stuck in the back of his mind, nagging at him. 

The third time he’d seen it on a Snapchat story. He just   
started crying. He never admitted it to anyone, but he cried almost until Race came home, in the early hours of morning. He was so HURT. Why did Race keep doing this? The excuse was usually the same, or a variation of it, he was drunk, someone had left him unattended, the other guy had kissed him first. It was too much. Albert had tried to talk to Race about it but he was too emotional, so the third time hadn’t been discussed. 

And now, this, this fourth time. Albert could not express how this made me feel. He just knew he was done. He could not take the emotional drain anymore. Maybe he wasn’t good enough for Race but Race didn’t know how to tell him so he showed him instead. He didn’t think Race had gone past making out with someone but that was still cheating. And it made Albert feel insecure. He wanted closure but also knew that he probably couldn’t get it. 

He missed Race so damn much. He also hated him. He also loved him. It was hard to know what to do. Albert knew Race still had his heart. He had willingly given himself up to that lanky blonde terror. Did he regret it? He wasn’t sure. Race was the best thing that had ever happened to him, he’d always been there. And now he couldn’t be there because Albert wasn’t going to let him. He cried himself to sleep that night, wishing he could think clearly. 

The next day he phoned Darcy, he needed someone with a level head, a good opinion. He knew Specs had told him NOT to second guess himself, but he couldn’t help it.   
He let out a rush of air when Darcy finally picked up. 

“Hey Al.”

“Heyy Darcy.”

“You alright?”

Albert jumped into it, “do you think I did the wrong thing?”

“Hm?”

“I- I broke up with my- with Race, I broke up with Race.”

“Oh I hadn’t heard, I’m sorry.”

“Oh uh, yeah, sometimes I forget we aren’t always in the same circles. So yeah, we’re not together anymore.”

“Do you mind telling me why?”

“He cheated on me.”

“That’s ter-“

“Four times,” Albert tugged on the ends of his hair.   
He heard a soft gasp from the other line.

“Why would that be the wrong thing to do?” Darcy asked finally.

“Because he can be sweet, because I know we’re both still in love with each other, because I miss him,” his dropped to a whisper, “that might be the main reason, I miss him.”

“Albert, he hurt you, multiple times.”

“But it wasn’t on purpose! Well, he says that. I don’t know what to think anymore.”

“I think you’re only still in love with him because you just broke up. Down the road I’m sure you’ll realize this was for the best. You’ll get over him, you’ll stop hurting.”

Albert knew Darcy was saying all the right words and that he should believe him but it was so hard. 

“Yeah. Yeah you’re right, thank you Darce.”

“Anytime, good talking to you.”

Albert hung up. He just needed to wait. The feelings would fade. It was for the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> but i do have a schedule  
> and feedback would be great!! let me know your thoughts on this so far!


	6. race has a boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alcohol is mentioned in this chapter

-1 Year Later-

Race walked in to Jacobi’s tugging at his hair self consciously. He felt a hand on his arm.

“Hey it’s alright, I’m right here.” 

Race turned to his boyfriend, though he could feel all of the eyes of his friends watching them. He flashed a fake grin. 

“Yeah, thanks.”

The couple sat down.

It was silent for a beat too long then Jack broke the tension.

“Alright! Welcome here guys,” he nodded in Race’s direction. 

“So as you’ll notice, my wonderful boyfriend Davey isn’t here today. Because I need to tell you all something.” He paused for dramatic effect. “I’m going to propose to him!” (He did that thing as one does when they introduce Theodore Roosevelt) 

The room burst out in cheers and shouts. The few nearest to Jack clapped him on the shoulder and Albert stood up to loudly order them all drinks. The room was excitedly chattering. Everyone discussing this new information. Race clasped his boyfriend’s hand. 

“Isn’t that exciting Spotty?”

“What you expecting a proposal now?” He teased.   
Race smiled, leaning to drop his head on his shoulder. 

“Nooo, not now.” 

“I still love you.”

“I still love you too.” 

Race looked up for the briefest second and met Albert’s eyes. The redhead looked away quickly. The drinks were being delivered and Race was just about to refuse his but Albert spoke up before he could. 

“Oh I meant to order something else... for him,” Albert trailed off looking down then staring at Race. 

Jacobi took the drink away with a soft apology as the room went quiet again. 

The tension that had suddenly settled was thick. Race didn’t like drinking during the day, he knew he did dumb things when drunk and he didn’t need that to be seen in the light of day. 

Both boys suddenly looked away from each other and Race abruptly turned to Spot with a fake smile frozen in place. He squeezed Spot’s hand before staring at the tabletop. Spot gave him an uncertain smile but squeezed his hand in return. Slowly the chattering started again but neither Race, nor Spot, nor Albert could stop thinking about what had just happened. 

When everyone started going home, Spot and Race were a few of the first to leave. And as soon as they were in Spot’s apartment Race started kissing him desperately.

“Whoa,” Spot said pushing him back, “what are you doing?”

“I love you,” Race said breathlessly.

“I know that but why are you acting like this?”

“I can’t kiss you to show my love?”

“No, Race, that-“

“‘M sorry.”

Race started to walk away but Spot grabbed his wrist and tugged him back giving him a very gentle kiss. 

“I think you need to sort your emotions out ok? That’s fine, just, just don’t mix them up. I don’t want any lies between us.”

“Yeah... ok,” Race replied slowly. He stepped back and went to drop onto the couch. “Can I stay here tonight?”

“Of course.”

***

Albert was one of the last to leave, still joking and laughing with people without really feeling anything. He have Jack a hug with a peppy “congrats man!” And walked out of the diner. His smile vanished as soon as he was turned around. He’d been feeling this emptiness for awhile now. He should’ve been used to it. Why was there a void? It was supposed to get better, why wasn’t it getting better? He knew he couldn’t risk a relationship with Race again. He could not handle being hurt like that again. But the missing of the blonde never seemed to go away. 

Back in their- no, HIS apartment, why was he still having such a hard time with that? He took out the kettle and some tea. 

“Stupid,” Albert mumbled to himself. He’d always made fun of Race for liking tea. 

He opened the cupboard with the mugs, something he wasn’t sure he’d ever done, at least not in the last year, and spotted one of Race’s prized mugs. It caught him off guard and he choked back a sudden sob before lowering himself to sit on the floor. He pressed his fist against his mouth trying to suppress the cries coming from him. It didn’t really work. He gasped out sobs for a little while, he was shaking from the surprise and intensity of it. 

When he could move he shoved the kettle and tea into the back of a cabinet and headed to bed. He didn’t know how much longer he could take this.

***

Race thought about Albert constantly. He wondered all sorts of things about him. He always wanted to talk to him but knew he shouldn’t. There had been a couple times when he was drunk (well kinda, that’s what he told Albert anyways) that he’d called Albert. He wasn’t put up with for very long. There were also some instances when he had actually gotten drunk and just cried for awhile wishing he could have him back. Unfortunately it happened twice while he’d been with Spot. 

Spot and Race had been very cautious before beginning their relationship. It had started with a few hookups but they realized they had real feelings for each other too. Spot knew part of the history between Race and Albert. Race tried his best not to talk about it. But it had been his first and only relationship, so having something different with Spot had been difficult to adjust to. They didn’t live together. Race and Albert had practically always lived together. Always at each other’s houses as kids, roommates a little later in life and then as a couple. Spot and Race’s relationship still felt fake, things were still tense and awkward sometimes but remarkably, Spot was very understanding. 

And now, Race was faced with time to think. He laid on the couch staring up at the ceiling trying to sort through his thoughts. He started with the things he knew. He was happy with Spot. He loved Spot. He missed Albert. He loved Albert. But he didn’t want to break up with Spot. He’d accepted that he couldn’t date Albert again. But he missed having him in his life. Maybe they could be friends again. He sat up, that was actually a good idea. They could try being friends again. He pulled out his phone to text him but stopped. He hadn’t texted Albert for months. And what if Spot didn’t approve of that? He could just ask him. He didn’t know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes jacobi’s serves alcoholic beverages


	7. race has thoughts (uh oh)

Race got up to find Spot in the bedroom. He jumped onto the bed landing on his stomach. 

“Hi, so, I’ve done some thinking-“

“Race, I left you on the couch like five minutes ago.”

“Whatever, I did some thinking, and I want to talk to Albert,” he cringed, he hated talking about Albert in front of Spot.

Spot looked alert now, “oh ok.”

“I just want to talk to him that’s all,” Race said in a rush. 

“Racer, baby, I’m not worried about it, whatever you think is best for you.”

“Right.” Why was Spot so understanding and nice? He really didn’t deserve him. 

“I’m gonna text him.”

“Ok.” 

Race tried not to overthink it, he sent a quick text asking if he could meet Albert at what had been their favourite coffee shop. 

He turned off his phone and snuggled into Spot’s side before he could get a reply. 

In the morning when Race checked his phone, the message waiting for him read ‘sure, around 2?’

He sent his agreement then remembered he was next to Spot.

He turned his face toward his boyfriend, “g’morning.”

“Hey, what did you need to check so immediately?” He laughed softly, “your eyes were hardly open.”

“Oh just a time to meet Albie- Albert,” he corrected. 

Spot nodded and absently played with one of Race’s curls.

“Whatcha thinking about Spotty?”

“Selfish things.”

Race laughed, “what does that mean?”

But Spot wasn’t smiling, he looked at Race seriously. 

“I’m trying really hard to give both of us a good life.”

‘Oh no’ Race thought, ‘here comes the confession’

“I was scared to begin a relationship with you, I kinda knew what you and Albert had, I didn’t want to mess anything with you up. I wanted a chance. I know you care about me Tony.”

“Wait hold on, ca- can you just get to it and break up with me?”

“What? Race I wasn’t going to break up with you!”

“You weren’t?” Race asked incredulously.

“No! I’m just trying to tell you how I feel.I don’t really do... words, so please shut up so I can try.”

Race nodded and noticed as Spot gestured, trying to explain himself, that his hands were shaking.

“Spot hang on for a second, are you ok?”

“Uh, I’m trying to be.”

“No talk about that instead, you’re shaking.”

“Ok, um, I usually solve things with actions. And they usually aren’t good actions. I’ve tried really hard this last year. I want to stop hitting things, thinking I’ll feel better.”

“You’ve never even yelled at me, which is crazy because I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah but you never noticed I leave instead? I’ll disappear when I can’t handle things.”

“It’s better than punching things right?” Race shrugged. 

“Maybe, I don’t know, point is, I’m terrified of harming you in any way and I really want us to work out. It scares me a bit for you to see Albert,” he clenched and unclenched his fists trying to release the energy, “but I don’t want to do anything to make you upset. I’m trying to be understanding, have I been understanding?”

This vulnerability was new to Race, his and Spot’s  
relationship had been pretty smooth, it was unnerving. 

Race sat up, sitting cross legged, “you’ve been ridiculously good to me. Stop it. You should yell at me or something.”

“No no, I won’t. Do what you want. Yup,” he gave a jerky nod, like he was trying to convince himself. 

“Spot?”

“You know what? I will solve things the way I used to, but I’ll do it in a better way.” He got out of bed and started changing. “I am going to punch my way out of it.”  
He turned to see Race’s confused look.

“I’m going to a gym.”

“Ah.”

“Is it ok if I stay away for the day? Check in with you in the evening? You can be here if you’d like.”

“Yeah of course, I need to go back to my place anyways and change.”

“Ok great, I love you, talk to you later,” he leaned over to kiss Race, then left. 

Race stayed sitting on the bed for a couple minutes, it had been a very weird morning already. Eventually he wandered back to his and Romeo’s place. They still lived together, still had bunk beds. They planned to keep it that way for a couple years, it worked so they didn’t want to change that. 

Romeo was cuddling with Specs on the couch as Race entered, Specs was there very often, probably every day, but Race didn’t mind. 

2 o’clock felt so far away but as it crept closer, Race got more jittery. He had already chosen his outfit and was pacing the floor of the bedroom. The door opened and Race jumped.

“Race? You’ve been in here for like, three hours, you can come out you know. Me and Specs don’t need every second to ourselves.”

“Mhm, yeah.”

“Did you hear what I said?” Romeo moved forward and grabbed Race’s arm. “What’s going on with you?”

“I’m meeting Albert in 45 minutes,” he said, his eyes were wide and he looked freaked out. 

“What? Why?”

“I want to talk to him! I don’t know!”

“Ok, well, you made that decision so I guess whatever happens is your fault.”

“Romeo!”

The shorter boy laughed, “it’s true! But I’m sure whatever happens will be fine, did you tell Spot?”

“Of course I did, I wouldn’t sneak off to meet someone else, regardless of their relation to me. Who do you take me for?”

“Whoa, take it easy,” Romeo raised his hands in innocence, “just making sure.”

“Right, sorry,” Race took a deep breath, pulling on his hair.

“C’mon, you’re driving yourself crazy alone in here.”

He then grabbed Race by the shoulders and steered him to the doorway, dragging Race into the living room to try and distract him for the next little while.


	8. we love albert ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they talk!!!

Race was a wreck as he walked toward the coffee shop. He kept tugging at his hair or fiddling with the hem of his shirt as he went. 

The bell above the door jingled softly as he stepped in. It was a quiet place, never too much business. He hesitated in the doorway for a moment wondering if he should order first or wait for Albert to get there. His decision was to step up to the counter. He ordered an iced coffee in a panic. He didn’t even like coffee that much but he was too nervous to look at the tea choices. He chose a booth away from the counter hoping that anyone working there wouldn’t listen to their conversation. There was one other customer, sitting at a table. Race shifted and winced at how quiet the place really was. Even the smallest movement could be heard. The bell sounded again and there was Albert. 

Race’s heart rate sped up involuntarily. Albert surveyed the room for a moment, it only took a second for him to find Race, as there was only one other customer there. He raised his eyebrows in recognition and started heading over. Now Race was really tugging at his hair. The anxiety had kicked in so he felt a little breathless and wanted to ground himself before anything bad happened. Albert started to sit down, then noticed Race’s drink.

“Hey- oh you already ordered, I’ll go order then.” 

Race gave him a brief nod and almost dropped his head to the table in embarrassment as Albert walked away, but caught himself. 

A few minutes later, Albert came back, two drinks in hand. He set one in front of Race before sitting down across the table with his. 

Albert took a sip of his coffee and smiled at Race, “so, how are you?”

“I’m doing well- hey why’d you get me tea?”

“You don’t drink coffee.”

“Yeah,” Race said slowly, “that’s right.” He kicked himself mentally for being so awkward. He hadn’t talked to Albert, while completely sober, for a long time. 

“So is there any reason you wanted to see me?” Albert quickly took another sip after his sentence.

“Uh, I was just, um, thinking about you and wanted to see you.”

Albert raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“As friends,” Race added quickly. 

“Right. Friends,” Albert smiled bitterly and set his drink down harder than intended. 

“I- I was talking with Spot,” Race paused for a second, hating that he had brought his boyfriend up, “anyways, we both thought I should see you, not that he made me do this or anything.” He tried to backtrack, “I wanted to. Uh, how’s your year been?”

Albert let out a stunned laugh. He couldn’t believe Race had brought up his boyfriend though he supposed it was bound to happen. 

“It’s been... a year,” he nodded as if that would affirm his noncommittal reply. 

Race laughed nervously. Albert suddenly slammed his hands down on the table.

“I hate this, stop. Can we just be honest? We used to be good at that. Go. Talk. Don’t lie to me.”

In his shock Race had to remind himself to breathe before opening his mouth to speak. He knew that Albert could see right through him, lying would be a bad decision anyways.

“Ok. Albert. You’re important to me. I’ve known you forever. I can’t just forget about that. I think about you every day, miss you all the time too. I am happy though. I’m happy with Spot, happy living with Romeo, I want to be happy with you too. So, do you think we could be friends again? I- I want you back in my life. In some way.”

Albert sat there for a minute, silent. Sure Race talked a lot, he just hadn’t expected him to be honest without more prying. 

“You wanna be friends?” He said carefully.

“Yeah, I mean, we don’t have to be if it’s uncomfortable for you, I jus-“

“Race. Can I talk now?”

The blond nodded and closed his mouth. 

Albert stared at the ceiling for a few moments, organizing what he was about to say. 

“Racer,” the nickname rolled easily off his tongue, ”I miss you. All the time. I- I thought I did the right thing, everyone told me it was right. But I have never stopped missing you,” he took a breath, glancing at Race trying to gauge his expression. 

“I thought it would get better, I knew it would ‘time heals’ and all that. I was wrong. It’s only gotten worse.”

‘And yesterday might’ve been the worst’ he thought to himself.

“So we’ve done the opposite of what it seemed at first,” Race said finally. 

“What?”

“When we first broke up, I went to a really dark place, you seemed fine. And now we’ve... switched I guess.”

“I guess.”

“It was nice of you to order me what you know I like, both yesterday and today,” he gestured to the tea.

Albert shrugged, “not a big deal.” 

“Do you think we can be friends?”

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes.”

“Sure.”

Race frowned, sure is almost never used as a definite answer.

“Nuh uh. You said tell the truth, you have to too.”

“I think I can only see you in a romantic way Tony, being friends sounds really hard to do.”

Albert leaned back from the table uncomfortably, as if he could dodge the awkwardness. 

Race hadn’t expected that answer. Albert still loved him. He still loved Albert as well but was it romantic?

“Can we try? It would still be what we had before right? Just no kissing or anything?”

Albert huffed a short laugh, Race had just slipped rules into a friendship, probably unintentionally. He could tell he was nervous, but it was still sort of funny. 

“That would be a platonic friendship yes. But there’s still things we need to talk about and work on.”

“Absolutely,” Race nodded vigorously, anything to get Albert back in his life. 

“I should get back...” Albert mumbled.

“Oh! Yeah, we can be done here, I should go too.” He didn’t need to. But he didn’t want to be a bother. 

They both stood up, looking at each other uncertainly. 

“Do we hug or..?” Race said quietly, mostly to himself but Albert heard him.

“Hug,” the redhead decided.

Racetrack’s head snapped up, not expecting a response. He moved forward to give said hug. He almost melted into the touch, Albert’s body was so familiar. ‘He feels like home’ Race thought briefly, his eyes widened as it crossed his mind, ‘oh no’. They broke apart, the hug had definitely been a couple seconds too long. Albert gave Race an awkward nod, then left the shop. 

Race sat back down, needing a moment to calm his racing heart. Friends. They could be friends. Albert was finally back in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
> 
> this is it
> 
> this is the end
> 
> if you’ve made it here, i’m very happy about that and i hope you enjoyed!!!!
> 
> any feedback would be wonderful
> 
> for now it is completed, there are still ideas bouncing around in my brain and if i ever write them, well they’ll be in a sequel instead  
> anyways, i love you! have a wonderful day/night!


End file.
